Just suppose

Suppose you have a friend, a friend like the whole meaning of the word friend “somebody who has a close personal relationship of mutual affection and trust with you.” It is the person you talk to when happy or when sad, when calm or stressed, when tired or rested. That person is your very good friend.

Now suppose that person wants a job that you think it is not appropriated. It is a job that might require more maturity than what you think your friend has. You do not think your friend is ready for it, hence applying for the job is something you think your friend shouldn’t do. What would you do? What could you do? Would you talk to your friend and try to change the decision taken? Would you rationalize with your friend and explain your concerns? Would you listen to what your friend has to say about what you think?

Now, suppose even further. Suppose you are part of the interviewing process for the position your friend is applying for. Would you not vouch for your friend, based on your thinking? That is, your thinking that your friend might not be up to the position sought. Would doing so hurt your friend? Would doing so make you a lesser friend or a better friend? Would your friend be overreacting if your way of thinking were known and decided not to talk to you anymore? Would all that be enough to break a very good friendship?

I think not.

You see, there could be a job. And I could be part of the interviewing process. And my wife could decide to apply for it. And I know what the job entitles and I know my wife is not up to it. So I would talk to her, and try to make her desist from her intentions. But she would still apply and get to the interview. Now, wife needs a job, we need money. It is very important that she gets a job. Still, since I am convinced the job is not for her, I would not vote for her. I would not hire her. It is that simple. Would I love her less because I did so? No. I think I am loving her more.

You always want the best thing for those you love.